And then there came for both of them at least a temporary awakening. ‘For kissing you, or for not meaning to do so?’ ‘Imbecile,’ exclaimed Melusine impatiently. “He has a stubbly yellow moustache, weak eyes, and great horrid hands. She was never able to trace the changes her attitude had undergone, from the time when she believed herself to be the pampered Queen of Fortune, the crown of a good man’s love (and secretly, but nobly, worshipping some one else), to the time when she realized she was in fact just a mannequin for her lover’s imagination, and that he cared no more for the realities of her being, for the things she felt and desired, for the passions and dreams that might move her, than a child cares for the sawdust in its doll. “Difficulties indeed. I thought it was a mirror at the first, for it was so very like myself. Yet, here she was, in the ancient Chinese city, weaving in and out of the narrow streets some scarcely wide enough for two men to walk abreast, streets that boiled and eddied with yellow human beings, who worshipped strange gods, ate strange foods, and diffused strange suffocating smells. She came to spend hours with the bastard children that the women brought, dressing and feeding the tiny ones, inventing games for the older ones. Beck, it smells wonderful in here. There's good stuff in him, if one could find the way to dig it out. ‘This is a private house,’ Hilary said severely, ‘and you are trespassing. She had tried to shift the subject of conversation away from herself and was even managing successfully until Chen the father addressed her.
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